I spent a lot of February in a total blur. Losing your mum does that to you. After my beautiful mum died, I was bereft. Isla turned 5 in January and I tried so hard to make everything ok for her. The truth is it wasn’t. We kicked of January with a trip to Alton Towers. It all looked so warm and cosy and yet on the inside I was screaming. I didn’t enjoy a second of it but I wanted my kids to be happy. At least the small ones. The big ones were bereft too, just like me.
So, I gave up and spent the rest of the month indoors, knitting and crocheting. It felt better.
February marks the first time after mum died that I went somewhere and enjoyed myself for what it was. I appreciate its still so soon, but I suppose taking the kids to Blackpool reminded me of simpler times. It reminded me of being a kid.